Life changes...

So do to my previous episode last week I decided some things needed to change. So I took up running. I've always wanted to do it and have tried but I never seem to follow through. So I have been getting up early and running. It is so excilerating to plug in my ipod and just pound the pavement! My boss runs in a marine marathon every year in DC. I would love to someday run in that. I know I have to run a year before I can start training for a marathon so I'll have to keep on it. I just think it would be an awesome goal to acomplish.

So apparently I am more stressed out then I thought I was. It is amazing how your body will shut down when things are just not going right in your life. I have been trying to get pregnant for some time now. On Friday night my sister told us all that she is pregnant. I'm not going to lie, I was furious, and in total conflict. I wanted to be happy for my sister, but at that same time I was so angry at her for getting pregnant so quickly and easily. On Wednesday I basically had a nervous break down. I sat on the floor of my bathroom and screamed at the top of my lungs for like 5 minutes. I just couldn't stop. Scared the crap out of my husband. He didn't know what to do. So he called my parents. I basically had a full blown panic attack. I've never had one so I ddin't know what was happening to me. It is amazing what difference a blessing can make. My dad came over and gave me one. I felt so much more peaceful and like I could handle the world after that. I told my friend what happened and she couldn't believe it. She said I am the most calm and collected person she knows so if that happened to me I must be under stress. At this point all I can do is laugh about it and thank God I didn't freak out at work. That would have been extremely embarrasing. It's hard to believe that sometimes your body knows yourself moreso that your head does. My mom told me this has happened to other family members of mine when they get stressed out and can't handle life. It is comforting to know that I have so many people on my side. My mom put me name in several temples. I am extremely blessed to have such a great family. My husband especially. I don't know what I would do without them. I feel very blessed in my life.